I aim to misbehave » Hardcore Douche Bags

Gaming the system

Jack — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:21:39 +0000

Homefront review scores hit, and they’re not great. THQ stock price drops 25% almost as soon as the review scores go live. Analyst Michael Pachter hits the newswire to say the two are related.

“Analysis”

I can do this too. Where’s my Porsche?

Neanderthals

Jack — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 21:31:50 +0000

I’ll never understand how or why some gamers can get so worked up about an upcoming game when all that’s available are 15 total seconds of scripted game play and pre-rendered cutscene footage that will without a doubt not be included in the actual game.

I mean, for fuck’s sake–most of the shit in this “trailer” is of real, live actors!

With the big spenders are so easily pleased and distracted by flashing lights, no wonder there’s no real innovation taking place in game design outside of the peripherals!

Maturity

Jack — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 21:34:58 +0000

What, no hardcore gamer outcry over IGN’s 8.5 review score for Call of Duty: Black Ops? Did the Internet suddenly grow up when I wasn’t looking?

Take Me Seriously

Jack — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 20:43:30 +0000

Is Medal of Honor everything that’s wrong with video games today, all wrapped up in a single title? Seems so:

Everything from the pathetic “controversial” inclusion (and subsequent scrubbing) of the Taliban to the juvenile storyline to the predicable “set piece” encounters screams “take me seriously,” and no one with an ounce of brain in their heads will see this silly title as anything other than shallow “military porn” (as it was described, accurately, by Wired’s Chris Kohler in his recent review).

Hell, EA even trotted out the no-game play TV commercials for this title. How 2005!

As IGN found this week, the game also shipped with a number of deal-breaking bugs. I’m sure we’ll get the usual “patch is coming” story later this week, but how little must EA think of its customers to let such a franchise title out the door in such a fashion?

In the end, it would seem EA is guilty of the obvious: Using a real world conflict that’s taken thousands of lives to sell an immature, bug-ridden game that will have little to no impact on the gaming world.

Sound of silence

Jack — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 17:16:24 +0000

NPD is eliminating free video game numbers reports. The sound you just heard were hundreds of video game bloggers crying out in unison, as if their biggest story of each month was suddenly snuffed out of existence. Because it was.

Shocker

Jack — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 13:10:24 +0000

There’s absolutely no truth to the rumor I just started that Peter Molyneux cancelled vaporware title Project Milo so that he could focus entirely on lying and exaggerating about Fable 3′s capabilities.

RIP, Project Milo that never really existed.

Fool me twice…

Jack — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:38:05 +0000

Every few years or so Nintendo releases a console. The specs are predictably spartan, and the response from the hardtards is predictably predictable. How do they expect us to take their “artistic” games seriously when they can’t even use the Google to check and see if what they’re attacking Nintendo with is the same exact thing they said about the DS phat?

Elephants, rooms

Jack — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 13:27:09 +0000

Video games took a hit this summer. Instead of addressing the fact that all the big titles feature male protagonists firing guns into meat shields without much personality or emotion driving their actions, Michael Pachter blames…console prices.

But hey, Halo Reach is coming tomorrow. Should fix everything.

Dead weight

Jack — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:15:53 +0000

Why must video game developers continue to bolt on useless multiplayer modes to their great single-player games? Are they that afraid of the vocal minority backlash? Are one player games really that bad?

Housecleaning

Jack — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:57:23 +0000

I think this is a first: I don’t particularly take this personal blog very seriously but even so, I marked an annoying, ill-informed little troll as spam today. I doubt I’ll ever do it again, but this shit was seriously … Continue reading →