SATIRE, U.S.A. — Citing customer demand, Activision Blizzard announced today a new line of video game booths that reviewers will now use to review the company’s cutting edge, critically acclaimed games, including Modern Warfare 2 and the upcoming Starcraft 2.
The posh, portable chambers can be custom-fitted to serve the video game journalist’s every need, including lush 5.1 surround sound, 50-inch plasma screen HDTVs, and travel/hotel accommodations across the U.S.
“We’re not influencing reviews with this new product, so much as we’re giving the game reviewer piece of mind so that they can best serve their readers,” said Activision Blizzard Game Review Relations Director Trent McBias. “Also, there are snacks.”
All Activision game reviews will be conducted in this manner going forward, read a release from Activision.
The typeface seems a little too Express, you know? As in the clothing chain… Whoops!
GameIndustry.biz’s James Lee looks like Harry Potter. And that’s a British pub, too! Double Word Score!
Aren’t Warhammer 40k Space Marines supposed to be tough-as-nails, never flee super soldiers from the far future?
They are? Then what the fuck is up with this sign?
If we were, some day in the near future, to start saying that SNL has truly become “successful” again, then it must be comprised of nothing but continuous Alec Baldwin sketches. Seriously, the man’s hosted the show more than 15 times already. That’s a season all by itself right there.
One of the cooler arcade cabinets out of the 1990s is up for auction.
The SEGA R360 arcade cabinet will cost you anywhere from $4,000 to $6,000, depending on how many people actually clamor to get a hold of an arcade cabinet that could very well still smell like violated little boys.
It’s times like these where I feel supremely comfortable being an arrogant, superficial jerk who thinks he’s better than certain people. Parenting FAIL.
Showed this to Ms. Misbehave tonight and she asked, “did he just say shapoopy?” Why yes, dear, yes he did. Consider this an official back-in-the-game test post.